I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
