i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
