why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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