omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
