I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
sex in a hospital.. check
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
