We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So. Much. Porn.
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