# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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