yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize