btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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