So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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