Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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