Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
His nipple licking is glorious
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