just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
