I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
