I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
