i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize