I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
