Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
