Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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