Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
