he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
