Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
