I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
