just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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