Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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