It's like God shit irony all over that family
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
