i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize