i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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