Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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