youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
