come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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