Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
