she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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