I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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