My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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