the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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