I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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