i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
