Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
