i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
