This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
