Kiss
Puke
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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