i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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