i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
