Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
