Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
