You're a womanizer and a bitch.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
