I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
