pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
