I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
