More tranny stories later!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
