batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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