Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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