Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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