Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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