Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Terrible idea I love it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
