Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
