do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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