got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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